Letting your past control your future…..

We all have a past and sometimes our past relationships and the way we get treated we let affect our future relationships. The question is, how long do we let our past control us?

Every time I met someone new I would say to myself “He’s different what happened before won’t happen again or will it?” Our insecurities play a massive part in us letting the past affect us. After dating for so long and it never going anywhere and I would always end up back at square one asking myself the same question “When will this change?”

Doesn’t there comes a time when we have to say to ourselves get a grip and grow a pair. I mean if I keep letting my insecurities and my past affect my life then I’ll never move forward.

And it's not even just in relationships where we let our past control us. Our fears all come from some sort of bad experience in the past. Like fears of clowns and you used to have the toy sitting in your room, and you were convinced it was going to come alive and get you. When you would be scared of a roller-coaster and it stopped you from going on them when you were an adult the same can be said for many other fears like heights, swimming, being alone and the dark. Somehow we manage to overcome those fears by challenging ourselves and pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zones until you realise there was nothing to be scared of it was all in your head.

This is the same when starting to date someone new. Don’t judge them on your past experiences, just because you’ve been burnt in the past doesn’t mean it will happen again. And if it does, then you pick yourself back up, make yourself stronger and keep moving forward.

I have spent so many years wasted on guys who just wasted my time. I’ve wasted so many years on guys who don’t know what they want so drop you at a drop of a hat. What I’m saying is the past is in the past, what’s happened has happened and we can’t change that. All we can do is learn from it, each new experience or interaction teaches us something different either about others or ourselves. What we can change is where we are going next and who we are going there with.