Relationships & Me

Is it just me that finds it hard to keep relationships strong?

I don't just mean relationships with guys but with my friends and family.

Over the last 5 years a lot has changed for me personally. I moved away, went to university, moved back home and moved out again. In all that time i have always managed to keep my close friends right beside me and i love them so much for it.

But do't we all lose contact? Whether that is through busy schedules, work commitments, family needing us or most likely in my case needing my own space to breathe. But that doesn't necessarily mean that we don't still think and care for them.

Over the last 3 years i feel i have had to become more guarded about who i trust. Especially with dating guys. In my case i can't seem to date a guy longer than a month and then for him to get bored and move away. Guys make so many promises, but how can you tell they are the real deal. I've had guys cheat and walk away. I feel this is why i have trust issues when meeting new people whether that's a guy or new friends. For example i was texting a guy for while, sending Snapchats (so i knew i wasn't being cat-fished) and we arranged for him to come stay for the weekend at my uni house. So he arrived and within 10 minutes of him being there he had a phone call so he had to rush off home to a sick relative and that was it. Nothing from him again, Or the guy who was secretly married and had kids with a secret gay life. I could possibly write a book about all these encounters i have had over the years but my point is some of my other friends get relationships so easily. It works for them and i just sit there thinking "Is it just me?"

Surely it has to be me right? I mean making an effort for all the wrong people and you end up in bed with a bottle of wine, Ben and Jerry's and Bridget Jones. (Trust me, always makes me feel better when feeling low) It hasn't been since moving in with my housemate, that i have finally started becoming more happier with myself and who i want to be. I suppose what i'm trying to say is. Make sure you have your own life sorted, be where you want to be, doing what you want to do before letting someone in. The quote i have started to follow is....

As all my friends keep telling me. Stop trying so hard, don't keep looking for it because it will never happen. So that's what i have done. Focused on myself and i have stopped looking for a relationship. Is it just me that wants a relationship as strong as our grandparents have? Either way i'm 23 and still young so i suppose in the words of my family and friends stop sitting around and get out there and enjoy what life has to offer. So lets see what life throws at me.